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Showing posts from 2017

before the day ends

missing out
but where does that go?
immune to absence
until my dreams awaken me

but i'm not sincere
no, not here
for the absence radiates
like a sun in a sky of cigarettes

the sun, forsaken
a burning hole
like a flame without a match

i can't tell the nights from the days
in this effervescent haze
i've been waiting so long
though i don't know what for

and yet, i lie again
i know what i wait for

my thoughts are a home for you
it's just that you don't live there

my apologies on standby
or rather, standstill
mine stand still
but yours merely sit down



I look through the trees at the glass windows. They are flaxen, though man-made, an architectural sun if there ever was such a thing. When I stare at the actual sun, the act negates itself; my stare is forbidden by unmitigated admittance. All possibility of future sight is left in shambles if I choose all potential sight in situation. The windows don't fare much better in terms of accommodation. The reflecting gold is so viscous that I am only left with an image of myself and outside surroundings, though the purpose of windows is to see through a priori. The teleology of the windows have become subordinate to contemporary aesthetics.

J Dilla - Lightworks

I like his Donuts album quite a lot; Dilla's music has undoubtedly had an influence on my own audio-art, especially Voyage de l'Âme. In fact, Justin from Xian music blog Spirit You All noted this in a very kind and well-written song review, published about a year and a half ago. This type of music is for an acquired taste - perhaps a very acquired taste. That's not to sound pretentious, but from my perspective, I can't think of anyone who would enjoy this as much as I do. Like most art, as a consumed good, we don't know why we enjoy what we enjoy (at least, that's an assumption and it it seems correct to me intuitively). In the case of food, taste buds just happen to like what they like. Is taste in music really that different from taste in food? Both even have a moral component to them, I think, but I'm not going to get into that right now.

At any rate, if I egged anyone on to listen to the song or my album (cheap thrills, I know), then my work here is acc…

On Pain and Prayer

Why do we ask God to rid us of our pain? Does God necessarily intend to rid us of it, that is, at all times? Is it worthwhile to beseech Him perpetually?  C. S. Lewis writes in The Problem of Pain:

"Suffering is not good in itself. What is good in any painful experience is, for the sufferer, his submission to the will of God."

The type of pain I'm thinking of at the time is emotional pain, especially in the aftermath of a loss (grief, put simply). It seems a common practice to ask God the Father to comfort those who mourn in such situations. Without doubting the good intentions of those who have made similar requests (myself included), I wonder if something is missing here?

Consider another quotation from Lewis' theodicy:

"Lay down this book and reflect for five minutes on the fact that all the great religions were first preached, and long practiced, in a world without chloroform."

And how far the developed world has come since the days of chloroform! The cultur…

The Great Chain of Linking, Part 3

A world of pure imagination - Unlike those philosophical plebs marching around the walls of empiricism, Edward Feser offers a different perspective on David Hume.*

Four Temperaments Test - Are you sanguine, choleric, melancholic, or phlegmatic? Find out in approximately five minutes.

The Dissatisfaction of Francis Schaeffer - A biography from Christianity Today about one of my favourite philosophers/theologians (Art and the Bible is a wonderful read).

Why the Orthodox Honor Mary - I thought this was an informative read as an outsider to the Orthodox tradition.

Secularization Falsified - "Modernity is not necessarily secularizing; it is necessarily pluralizing." ~ Peter L. Berger. Also, Peter Berger dies at 88. May this brilliant thinker rest in peace.

Graham's Number - This number will literally blow your mind.

The medicalisation of shyness - This article has remained (mostly) unread on my desktop for awhile now, but the title makes me think that it has some interesting inform…

probably plight less

To be 'cultured' is for an individual or group to possess characteristics of a certain culture rather than any culture. That's why some rural folk, among others, are said to not be 'cultured.' But they are cultured; it's just that they are rural rather than bourgeois or noble European. Why their cultural capital is any less 'cultured' is beyond me.

Goo Goo Dolls are to Rock music what realism is to art. Songs like "Iris" and "Black Balloon" are wonderful, though they're those songs in the back of your head that you know you've heard before when you hear them in a most real manifestation (say, on the radio instead of in your brain). Good realistic art so often prompts observers to say "well, that's very nice," and then they're bored and out the door. The quality is so profound and realistic - taken for granted - that they don't even give much thought to it. At least, that's what I've found to be t…


I completely forget what I wanted to write here. "Sarah - toh - oh - oh- nin" was just playing in my headphones. What was I thinking about earlier ... oh yes, that's it. Woah - that next song came on way too loud. It's my July 2017 playlist. Pause. Did I already forget what I wanted to write about again? Mmmkay. That's not even a word. Oh. I'm sorry for belaboring, really. Oh yes, I remember again. But if I say I'm going to remember does that just mean I'm going to forget? Kind of like when somebody says that they'll keep a promise, but really, it means that they're just denying what you want them to accept. That probably reads cliché, although, that's only my opinion. Also, when I don't want the letter e with the accent over top, my computer spits it out, and when I do want it, I don't know where to begin, so I type it into Google but I'm certain there's any easier way. Of course there's an easier way.

What I wanted to…


I went for a walk past 8 o'clock this some evening ago. The sky was so blue and empty. It made me think about when I found the blueness of the sky, the greenness of grass, and the brightness of the sun puzzling matters. I can have the same thoughts these days, but not the same feelings which once accompanied them. Perhaps none of it began with thoughts at all, but feelings, rather...

What did any of this phenomena mean in relation to me? That's what I was wondering when I had those thoughts. I'm not sure I ever came to an answer on that. Somehow, I stopped caring. I don't find myself particularly distracted by the scenery in which I walk among anymore. Every so often, I take notice of a stoplight, or a sunset, or clouds, but my thoughts take precedence. In some ways, I am very immune to what others take to be beautiful. Mountains, for instance, do not move me in a profound way like they seem to for many others.

I suppose, in a way, the disinterest is still there. It fe…

The Rise in Antidepressant Use and What it Means for Deviance

It is common sense that the mentally ill are, sociologically speaking, a broad group of people who have been, and continue to be in the eyes of some (if not many), considered deviant. What way do things seem to be heading in the future though? To only look at one angle of the issue, this study from Business Insider published last year claims that antidepressant use has increased in 25 countries. The paragraph below includes some of the key information included in that article (though for the sake of brevity, I do not mention all of those countries).

In a matter of four years, antidepressant use in Germany increased by 46%, reaching a rate of 50 per 1,000. During the same period, it increased by approximately 20% in Spain and Portugal, the former being 50 per 1,000 and the latter being 78 per 1,000. Use in Iceland was very high, as it was estimated that 106 per 1,000 used antidepressants. The United States was added to the analysis by the authors, and the results indicated that use in…

Stupid Sensationalism

No longer is it sufficient to solely be charmed by something. Entire bracelets used to be created out of charms; but now, the bracelet has been severed, as the beads fall to dirt in a hurried escape. Who possesses the scissors? As unlucky as it is, you cannot see them. Scissors are, after all, an archaic tool used in the production of arts and crafts, hidden away in storage rooms and plastic containers. While hidden, physical scissors are certainly perceivable because of their special use. But many a metaphorical scissors - and I did say many! - are not perceivable because they are not special in their use. Our sight takes advantage of some things.

I think about cameras and their commonality. No longer does one have to wander around an electronics department store and purchase a camera by Canon, Nikon, or Fujifilm, especially as a special object. The feature of photography no longer belongs to a camera in itself, but can now be found in cellphones and other computer devices. When we s…


An ill-informed artifact of communication can be informative in the sense that it is - while not necessarily being intellectually informative in all its parts, and especially in itself - able to be well-informed in how it looks to another, and furthermore, to the producer of the artifact itself. The way by which this realization can come about is if the artifact is emotional because emotions can subtract from the intellect, that is, if one maintains that these are entirely different corners of the psychological life. It is like looking through a clear glass window. What do I mean here? All I mean is that some people do not know how things look to other people for a time and that it is possible to transcend. Some people can affirm the stereotypes that others have of their type without them even knowing it.

Society As Plastic: Some Very Short Observations

Out of all things people could be interested in, why are the masses so amused by the cheap, the insipid, and even more fatefully, the profane? Matthew wrote in 6.22 that our eyes are lamps, and furthermore, that our whole bodies should be brimming with light. But alas, many no longer use their lanterns as moral compasses, but rather, they use this technology not to guide them out of the darkness, but to keep them enveloped. Nowadays, we are worse off than Nietzsche's madman; at least he was looking for God with his lantern! What are people looking for these days? Politics, entertainment, gratification, violence, idols.

I keep on seeing content related to millennials eating guacamole toast at bourgeois restaurants, and therefore being unwise with their capital, or something along those lines. As you might have guessed, I have not taken much interest in the ordeal. Whatever the case may be though, I am stunned that these trivial news stories are the objects of peoples attention. I a…

Twelve Twenty Six

Wonder is disinterest
when its edge is expected.

Hearts of trees lay open,
as I view skies of red.

White clouds are melting
all feelings down a drain.

Does anyone know
where everything goes?

In this world,
nothing stays the same.

Points of Fiction: Mental Labor and Ontology

Fiction is supposed to read in a similar way to how a movie plays. A cinematographer and their ilk intend to construct scenes for viewers to see on a screen, much akin to an author using words to convey a particular image which the reader ascertains through reading. However, there is a discrepancy in relation to the image of the film and the image of the novel. Consider the following fictional scenario: a green alien breaks into a donut shop in which he steals coffee and donuts. For the film-makers, they are going to use real props, or perhaps CGI, or even both, to portray this. Maybe they will make the alien bright green, have donuts with pink frosting and sprinkles, black coffee, a 1990s checkered floor, a neon "closed" sign, etc. There is only going to be one scene for this film and that will be the scene on the screen. Now, perhaps an author will go into great detail and try to make it as objective as possible, but there will be no external alien, nor will there be donut…

Simon & Garfunkel - April Come She Will

From two of the most introverted musicians out there ... also, modern folk has got nothing on this and I would rather be a curmudgeon than a liar.

The Great Chain of Linking, Part 2

Face melting guitar skills - Buckethead's awe-inspiring performance of "Soothsayer." If you like the fast stuff, skip ahead to the 4 minute mark.

A David Berlinski montage - The American intellectual talks about new atheism, evolution, and some other things along the way (in his signature biting prose, of course).

Why are pencils yellow? - If the question has ever kept you up at night...

A sociologist critiques gender sociology - I haven't actually read this one yet, though the abstract was a good sell [seller? ... Zellers?]. For all those who complain that "sociologists say x," here's a counterargument. Some of these erroneous accusations have been making me roll my eyes to the point where they'll start singing "googly, googly, begone!"

Review of The Case for Christ movie - David Wood does some hilarious impressions of Lee Strobel, Gary Habermas, and William Lane Craig (they begin at around 2:19).

Gary North has some harsh words for Frank Scha…

Musing Over the Lord's Prayer

I occasionally find myself frustrated over the lack of times I witness the Lord's Prayer being recited. Matthew writes in 6.9 that we should pray like this (NLT); of course, the issue of whether the prayer ought to be communicated verbatim or not is debatable. However, what I do not think is debatable is that this is a powerful prayer. What other prayer has caused such civic uproar? The Lord's Prayer is, after all, that same prayer which public schools first welcomed and then denied. It is the Peter of prayers, or maybe, our prayer lives are just wayward like Peter was?

Whatever the case may be, I understand the difficulty with praying, and I trust that a lot of people relate to me in this way. But this prayer should dismantle that worry. It's right there in Scripture and God is waiting for you to pray it. What amazes me about the Lord's Prayer is that, I think, it is capable of taking on so many different meanings. What I mean here is that this ancient and objective p…

Do Hipsters Exist?

Often times, it is said that post-structuralism and postmodernism followed existentialism. While this is true, I might also wager that hipsterism should have joined the continental conga line. Just as certain existentialists denied that they were existentialists, many hipsters deny that they are hipsters (in addition, reading existential literature gains hipster points).

But unlike the fact that existentialism was once a real theory and approach to be reckoned with, the very notion that the hipster was/is actually a materialized entity has been questioned. Rob Horning, in his article The Death of the Hipster, asks "...are there hipsters, actual hipsters, or just a pervasive fear of hipsters?" Perhaps this says something significant about identity-denial among those perceived as hipsters, an implication that is very much a fact in the social stock of knowledge. In a way, it almost seems like hipsterism is to aesthetics what atheism is to religion. The gods who are so obvious …

The Great Chain of Linking, Part 1

In typical blogger fashion, I am going to start doing some link sharing posts on here. While my own writing will continue to be central to the hesitant telos, sometimes I lack more original ideas to communicate and want to let others know about media of interest without being so boring as to replicate the intellectual property that belongs to others or whatever you might call it. The name I have ascribed to this is a parody of "the great chain of being." This probably isn't related enough to that, but I thought it was catchy - a catchy pleonasm. Also, no promises on the relevancy (in terms of publication date) of these. I'm notoriously late in many a ways, so such a rule about trendiness just won't work for me. Without further ado, I give to you The Great Chain of Linking, Part 1.

1. Can Sociology be Saved? - The mentioning of criminal justice here is interesting to me as a sociology major, which is to say, that sub-field isn't really interesting to me at al…

i m a g e d . s e n s - my new photo blog

I suppose it's time to let the cat out of the bag - I just can't stop making blogs, apparently. Just last week I started up i m a g e d . s e n s, a (mostly) wordless blog that is intended to showcase my own photography/visuals, unless otherwise noted. I spent money on a DSLR camera (Canon Rebel T3i) a few years ago, so I may as well put it to use. There's a good chance many of the uploads to come will be oldies but goodies laying around in the crevices of my hard drive, though a couple of the shares have been recent (by recent I mean within the past couple weeks). In theory, I could just share the photos here, but I really think the design of the other blog really compliments the intention. Speaking of design, you might have noticed that I changed some things around on here: links are green, I disabled the sticky header, and I no longer have a featured post. Unfortunately, the search button and those three lines beside it button (not sure exactly what it's called) are…

Why I Enjoy Philosophy More Than Theology

I have really thrown myself into a sarlacc pit this time! As a self professing Christian, I find myself uncomfortable with making the inference that I enjoy "the study of general and fundamental problems concerning matters such as existence, knowledge, values, reason, mind, and language" (philosophy) more than "the study of the nature of God and religious belief" (theology). I can see that I have also made some of the more serious Christians uncomfortable here, as a swarm of them run towards me. The Roman Catholics have copies of the Catechism and Vatican II documents to lend, the Reformed have their Westminster Confession of Faith, and process Christians have a handful of Alfred North Whitehead and John Cobb books cupped in their eco-friendly local soap washed hands. Those are the first three groups I saw. There are a plethora more and far too many to count. I jest; really, I do.

Before I try to defend my mere opinion, I can think of no better way to begin than b…

Saint Lucy

It's been awhile since I posted a "digital artwork" on here. Today's feature is an icon of Saint Lucy.

A Saucy Defense of Rhetoric: The Escape Artist of Prose Style

Since when did so many writers become recalcitrant about paying attention to their prose? Publishing information is easy; a soul-less robot can do that. Even if there is a mountain of meaning, a soupçon of style is nothing more than unsatisfying. Indeed, it is quite a shame (sham?) how 'rhetoric' has become a pejorative term. In Jane Austen's time, the conflict existed between pride and prejudice; now the conflict lies between pejorative and prejudice. Rhetoric, the modern pejorative, has unfairly been equated with prejudice. "Just as prejudice lacks reason or experience, rhetoric is also void of substance," I can hear the analytic variety loudly roaring.

What the analyst does not understand, however, is that rhetoric is no mere gymnast, but rather, an escape artist. The analytic crowd can complain as long as they please about the somersaults, tumbling, and aerials, but they are not seeing the full performance. The rhetorician has meaning as its gymnastics and p…

The Epistemology of Magnetic Resource Imaging, or, the Futility of Empiricism

The plausibility of the idea that the brain has different sections which serve different functions, as well as the objectivity of how these sections are to be referred to, are questionable matters. First of all, science is defined as “systematic knowledge of the physical or material world gained through observation and experimentation” (; emphasis mine). The plain truth of the matter is that nobody has actually seen a functioning brain in itself. The closest humans have come to achieving such observation is through technology such as magnetic resource imaging (MRI). But the results these scanners render are not true access to the brains themselves; they are mere images. This is not some abstract, philosophic notion that has no practical utility, as some scientists themselves have affirmed this attitude. To substantiate this claim, I would like to provide a quotation from neuroradiologist Mario Mastroianis: “The images pretend a precision and objectivity which is not rea…

Aesthete Observations

My legs are very sore today, and if there's one reason I won't sleep tonight, it's because my legs are a little sore today.

The hours of the past three days have not been what I quite expected, though I take delight in them. My world feels open to me even if the world itself is not. What a difference 'the' makes! When I think about it, I am, in actuality, nothing more than an unsuccessful rebel. For what I rebel against is not so much of importance as the truth in itself that I rebel without being granted the very success which drives my rebellion. But here I am sounding rather tautological and wish to write no more.

"What am I waiting for?" This is such a common question and prima facie it appears to be one that should have been answered a very long time ago. The question almost brings to surface a kind of angst or despair. The questioner understands that they are waiting and wants to do something to change their situation; and yet, either they sincerely…

Four Years Since Bible School

It's been about four years since I departed from Capernwray Harbour Bible Centre, which I attended from September 2012 - May 2013. In the immediate aftermath, I remember looking at the yearbook quite a lot. Though such a preoccupation with this particular past has fluctuated over time, lately I've been returning to it. Arguably the most engrossing of the implications which make up the yearbook would be the notes/signings. The wording of some of the notes make it sound like familiarity would never waver. I believed that and it seems that others did, too. Of course, being cities, provinces, countries, etc. apart can make contact more difficult, I have found out. Related to this, I wonder how to classify the group I was immersed in: primary or secondary? The answer appears to be rather ambivalent. That being the case, this entry is not intended to read like some mnemotechnics that purely brims of confusion and forlornness.

I thought it might be fun to jog my brain for some highli…

Summer Reading 2017

I posted a reading list last summer, though this time around I won't be mentioning what music I plan on listening to 'cuz I'd rather be more spontaneous with what music I do listen to, as opposed to even trying to listen through full albums or EPs. However, I would like to continue mentioning what books I've been going through and which ones I plan on reading. Below is a list and the order is in accordance with the picture I took. In the brackets I will be mentioning the genre and my progress (please forgive the inconsistency). Also, sorry the picture isn't that great. It's tricky to get a good photo indoors, I guess.

1. Thomas Merton - New Seeds of Contemplation (meditations / 12 of 39 essays read).

2. Max Weber - The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism (sociology of religion, economics / have not started).

3. Jay DiNitto - Pale Blue Scratch (philosophical fiction / halfway).

4. David A. Karp - Speaking of Sadness (sociology of mental illness, symbol…

Mars Ill - Inside Out

"Blames the system that built jails instead of schools
Blames religion as a set of useless rules
Blames his father that he never even knew
Looks in the mirror. Yeah, he blames him too..."

Train Bridge

The armchair is cozy but I never know what I believe until I leave it. Truth is best found in fear and not tranquility. To be in fear means to lay waste to both knowledge that is taken for granted and to rediscover knowledge that is taken for granted. I am not thinking about what I usually think about, as my life-world begins to brim with surprise. The thing I have forgotten in my stable life-world comes to surface. It has been there all along, though I did not know it. Truth has been there all along, though I was unaware. My life, the chess board, has been crammed with pawns, knights, bishops, and rooks ... but where was the queen? Where was the king? The king has come to greet me in my fear! He was hidden in the crowd for so long a time; but now, I see him. Why did he ever disappear at all? Situation puts the human on their feet, in the objective world, while theory only puts pen to paper, in the subjective. In situation, I am tested in my entirety. I not only recognize my responsib…

Bad Sociological Writing

It's a pitiful truth that most prose from the court of sociology reads as if it were the transcript of a forlorn jester - unenthused, serious, opaque - or worse yet, like a document from the judge's desk in the supreme court! Filled with political, legalistic jargon that is "too sophisticated" for the normal man or woman to understand, the document was to never leave the judge's locked drawer. But alas, a key has been found, provided by libraries who spend too much on the indulgent nonsense of the intelligentsia (no more Foucault references, please!).

Condescending remarks aside, sociology articles certainly can differ in their prose style. Some articles read like quantitative research papers, others like personal stories - or, "people sharing their narrative" as postmodernists might put it, and still others may utilize ethnographic fieldwork and interviews, which are explicitly on the qualitative side of social science town. What is interesting about th…

God: as a question, as an answer

God is a question that I don't have the answer to, and yet, its importance demands my utmost attention. God is an answer that all the questions in the world bow down before, and still, my utmost attention remains ignorant.

Christian churches and denominations have been a worry for me this past year or so; which one is most right in the eyes of God? Roman Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, and Protestantism all have their questionable characteristics to me. I suppose that's bound to happen with any and all human institutions, that is to say, they are necessarily imperfect. Churches have the rare ability of having their feet in two worlds: the natural and the supernatural.

At what point does ruminating over these problems become an idol? Surely the realness of God exists wholly apart from any institution of this world, or else, we're merely building some anthropomorphic construct. But if it's the polar opposite of being socially related, you run into a Kierkegaardian individu…

Art as a Practice of Honesty or Beauty

Art may be defined as: "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power" (emphasis mine). There seems to be a lot of talk these days about how some artists are so 'real' and 'honest,' which I take to be within 'emotional power,' but my question is, where have the artists making beautiful things wandered off to? The honest artist is stuck in the quagmires of this world, thundering grumbles and groans while no one is there to help them - at least, so they think. To borrow an idea attributed to Kierkegaard, you can't see clearly when you have tears in your eyes. The honest artist has mud on their eyes, is unable to see their comrade's hand of help, and so, they look pitiful and confused. They are confused from the inside. But from the outside, why, they look so naive and silly you'd t…

Christian Mysticism is for the Commoner

It is a truism that Christian mysticism is difficult to define, and furthermore, that it renders mixed responses. A conservative, Protestant website like Got Questions Ministries deem the theology an oxymoron, while there is less hostility among Roman Catholics and Orthodox Christians. This becomes apparent when considering some of the prominent mystics, people like Augustine, Saint John of the Cross, Bernard of Clairvaux, Teresa of Ávila, Thomas Merton, and Fr. Stephen Freeman. Most of these people were Catholics, save for Fr. Stephen Freeman who is an Orthodox Christian. Still yet, Christian mysticism has not been entirely separated from Protestantism, as made evident through the work of A. W. Tozer. In his introduction for The Christian Book of Mystical Verse, he defines 'mystic' as: "...that personal spiritual experience common to the saints of Bible times and well known to multitudes of persons in the post-biblical era ... [who is] aware of the Presence of God in his…

A Rotten Stroke Spoils the Whole Artwork: My Critique of Banksy

I was recently thinking about how I used to enjoy Banksy's artwork. If you're having trouble putting the art to the artist, they stenciled this image of a man with a bouquet in his hand, instead of a grenade, presumably. A few years back, I made a photo album on Facebook that included some of their art works. Most of the photos in the collection were of the political variety, those maudlin works of art that are usually tainted by some iota of hypocrisy and always tainted with evil aggression. I really liked their art style a few years back, but nowadays it leaves me feeling sick to my stomach. It's as if I retain that it's objectively good, that Banksy has an objective skill or set of skills, but that I can no longer enjoy it.

I suppose the first thing that bugs me is how Banksy uses art to convey political messages. The first problem I see here is that art can never properly convey political messages. A batch of spray paint on some grimy wall in England simply cannot p…


Alone in a grotto and I have no complaints to echo. History is a dentist - no tooth, no claw, no lilting. The quiet can make no mark. This void, so beautiful; it is for me, just as I am for it. This can't be the vanity of halcyon days. How long will emptiness remain? I don't mind. When do the waves come?

Lifesavers Underground - Shaded Pain

L.S.U. haven't received much play from me recently, but for whatever reason I was thinking about them the other day, and decided to listen to "Shaded Pain" again. I thought I had overplayed that song so as to no longer enjoy it, but a break from it proved to keep my interest in tact. Melancholic songs are a dime a dozen but there's something special about "Shaded Pain," methinks.

Communication, Values, and Identity in Christ

There is introduction. There is body. There is conclusion. They are all separate, and yet, they form a whole. They form a whole so well that you might overlook these chasms of identity. Even words are reducible to lonely letters; they mean nothing on their own, except in particular circumstances. What drives me to communicate? It must be something I'm craving ... some rich chocolate mousse and a glass of ginger ale. Unless one is ill-mannered, they will use a fork or spoon to eat their cake and a glass to drink their ginger ale from. Likewise, when I communicate, I'm not all about the communication itself. I have a tool at my disposal to ascertain that communication. I suppose it's all a little different than eating because communication involves the interpersonal. Emotions are very important here. What can I pry from the other when I am angry? When I am happy? When I am forlorn? There is manipulation in the communicative process, and not necessarily in the negative sense.

The Cinematic Orchestra - As The Stars Fall

Aboat the Weather

It was cloudy this morning. There was some rain - possibly hail - in the afternoon that lasted for 30 minutes, give or take. I like everything about the song I'm listening to right now except the voices. Why did they add those in there? It would have been even better otherwise. I used to not like cloudy days but now I do. I used to not like the wind but now I see it differently. Cloudy days remind me of my apathy; not in the sense that it reminds me of what I don't want to be reminded of, but more so that the sky has empathy in relation to me. As for the wind, it's at least an archetype for the Spirit of God. And who knows, maybe God Himself is really found in the wind itself somehow? I need some mysticism in my life, at least, I try to make room for it. Lately I've been reading at least one poem/hymn a day from The Christian Book of Mystical Verse edited by A.W. Tozer and I've found it enjoyable. Sometimes I think of poetry as rather boring - even though I write p…

New Blogger Themes?

So I just signed in to start writing a poem and apparently Blogger has NEW themes! The only reason I'm writing this is because this puts me in an uncomfortable situation, to say the least. I have changed the theme/design/template/whatever more times than I can count ... and I'm profoundly ashamed at my inconsistency ... but I have to at least have a look at those new themes. Ah, I like this old one I got going now though! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING TO HAPPEN?!?!?!? HA HA HA HA HA HA ... UGGGGGH.

Psychedelics and Popular Philosophy

I was perusing this reddit thread today and was rather disappointed by the philosophers mentioned. The two names that caught my attention were Alan Watts and Friedrich Nietzsche. While I have not read any of Watts' work, and though I am sure he has some interesting ideas, the fact that his very name connotes some sort of post-hippie, stoner culture is enough to make me lose my appetite. Philosophy should be about coming to terms with reality, not distancing oneself from it. Then again, I could ask the question of whether or not psychedelic drugs are capable of bringing one closer to reality, but that is a topic I'd rather not get into at the moment. And some people blame religious people for trying to escape reality...

As for Nietzsche, the opaque prose of Beyond Good and Evil is just not worth anybody's time, even though there are some interesting insights buried deep down. Most people understand Nietzsche as being a morally degenerate man - which he was - and so, I'm …


Your eyelids are fair, like skylight halos. A Gaussian image - falling faster - though distant from shambles. Broken photography writes letters to reality, the pages crowded with circles. I can't see a thing in anything because I see everything, and yet, it's all so empty. This unity of appetite and pangs.


The word 'sophistry' has a nice ring to it; so does 'tapestry.' Can I effectively use both of them in the same piece? Then again, why would I? "Well, here I am again, sitting on my puke green love seat" - if I keep writing the words out, I'd write the entire song out! I don't know how I ever get much of anything done when I always have music stuck in my head. Maybe that's why I'm not as productive as I'd like to be ... and yet, my love for music is what inspires me to get anything 'important' done. Just as Pavlov's dog fetched the food at the ring of the bell, I attend to my tasks at the sound of music, and sometimes, at the expectationof that sound.

Patterns are deceiving. I must be hardwired for something beyond repetition, and still, I can't seem to bring myself out of it.

I thought I had found God today. Now that I reflect on it though, it must have been Him who was there up until shortly after the realization had begun. …

Melancholia I

Another paper on mental illness is underway. Depression and/or anxiety are illnesses of particular interest to me, and I think this anthropology paper will be the sixth occasion I've written on the topic. So far I have explored: the sociological implications of pharmaceutical antidepressants and their use in the United States and Canada, Bell Canada's Let's Talk campaign, mental illness among the homeless in Canada and the United States, how herbal medications compare to pharmaceuticals, suicidal thoughts among Aboriginal peoples, and this time around, I think I'll be focusing on 'race-pattern' interpretations of depression as they occur in the United States, i.e. how some and perhaps even a majority of persons from a certain race interpret the issue.

I'm not exactly sure why I listed all that out. A bout of nostalgia if anything. At any rate, I'm planning to make a special title page for this essay because my title pages are usually plain and boring. Al…